1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 The following programme contains strong language. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,719 Why don't you just for once in that self-obsessed head of yours, 3 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,199 have a thought for how other people might be feeling, hmm? 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,599 Sorry, love, but I've got two viewings and a burial 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,840 with a vegan buffet. 6 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:28,399 You can tell your friend Sunny that his wife has gone home! 7 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,760 Do you do BandB? 8 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,959 ♪ And then she smiles 9 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,799 ♪ And my heart starts beating 10 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,120 ♪ I go weak inside. ♪ 11 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,839 Ems, babe, please, just listen a minute... 12 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:04,840 Piss off. 13 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,319 Get 'er out! 14 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,759 And tidy up. 15 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,119 Oh keep it down, mun, my head's knocking. 16 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,559 Morning! How did it go? 17 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,240 Don't let her in! 18 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,559 Jasminder, shop! 19 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,399 Where is Emma? 20 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,319 Where's the baby? 21 00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:31,079 I don't even live here any more! Give me the milk! That's not fair! 22 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,199 Just eat when you get to school! Selfish, you are! 23 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,239 I need it more than you! 24 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,079 Oh, Mam, tell her! She used all the milk. 25 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,639 I'll get some more in a bit. 26 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,799 I need it now! Let me have some of Abhra's, then... 27 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,559 No, you little freak! Mam, tell him, he's an animal. 28 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,599 Have some toast. 29 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,319 Oh, he can't, Stell. I've had the last. 30 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,239 - Sorry. - Since when do you eat actual food for breakfast? 31 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,839 You normally just have gin. 32 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:51,919 Mm. 33 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,999 Right. Just this once. 34 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,119 Oh my God, this family is so chav. 35 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,879 Hoo-hoo! Someone's a bit above herself this morning. 36 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,759 Well, it's true. 37 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,199 Mam... 38 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,759 I want my bed back. Luke shouts in his sleep. 39 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,199 They gonna be here long? 40 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,159 Not if I can help it, love. 41 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:09,519 See ya. 42 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,559 So long. 43 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,519 - Ta-ra! - Ta-ra. 44 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,359 Right you, there's some old clothes of yours upstairs, 45 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,439 get changed and go back to that husband of yours. 46 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,199 I can't. It's over. 47 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,239 - Shut up! - Come on, he'll be breaking his heart, mun. 48 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,639 Well he shouldn't have turned into such a knob with his posh friends. 49 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:28,599 You should have heard him. Like a proper 'tally-ho' twat he was. 50 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,679 Was he? 51 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:30,919 Now who's being chav? 52 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,519 And that Leah was all over him like a bad rash. 53 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,959 And she probably knows the name for it in Latin. 54 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:37,599 I'm never gonna be like her, am I? 55 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,679 Oh don't be such a drama queen. Poor boy's done nothing wrong. 56 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,320 What, like Dai you mean? 57 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,879 58 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,159 ♪ That's all I have to live for 59 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,960 ♪ Give me back... ♪ 60 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,759 I see you're back then, Robert Morgan. 61 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:11,760 Yep. 62 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,119 Back then, are you, Rob? 63 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,239 Yep. 64 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,879 Thought so. 65 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,719 - Taxi. - Aye. Taxi for Mr Little Alan? 66 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,239 Pontyberry Comp, please, Drive. Jump in. 67 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:29,199 Ngh... ngh! Oh... 68 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,839 It's not me you should be telling, it's Paula! 69 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,319 Yep. 70 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,240 - Rob. - Yep. 71 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,479 I don't get it though. 72 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,399 You and my uncle Dai, you always been solid, like. 73 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,519 I know. 74 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,359 But all the things I used to love about him 75 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,399 just get on my nerves at the moment. 76 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,639 Like his sexy whistling in the dark 77 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,679 and that thing that he does with his Weetabix. 78 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,039 Eurgh... 79 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,919 Sean got on Mam's nerves in the end, and look what happened there. 80 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,279 Oh shut up you! Not helping. 81 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,399 Hiya, presh. Alright? 82 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,319 And the idea of him stood there with the John Major on. 83 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,999 I thought Dai was Margaret Thatcher? 84 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,479 No. I'm always the Iron Lady. It's more erotic that way. 85 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,679 That's me off my breakfast, then. 86 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,879 Just as well, there's nothing left. I got crisps. 87 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,639 It's alright, I'm going for a run. Have you seen my trainers? 88 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,120 In the bathroom! 89 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,559 Hello. You better come in. 90 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,200 Er... you've got a visitor. 91 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,199 I've come for my wife, 92 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,399 and I'm not leaving this house without her! 93 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,639 Oh... 94 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,399 And me as well! Not his wife, mine. 95 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,400 Obviously. 96 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,919 Some of the strip lights can be a bit jippy, 97 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,999 but give 'em a bang with a broom. 98 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,159 Usually does it. 99 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,279 I'll remember that, thanks. 100 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,519 So. 101 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:58,280 I know this is hard, Idris, but I need you to give me the keys now. 102 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,199 Thanks. 103 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,359 Lots of hopes and dreams have died in this place, Robert Morgan. 104 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,920 So many hopes and dreams. 105 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,999 Yeah well, um... I'm in the middle of training 106 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,839 so would you mind if I got on? 107 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,639 You know, my old Gumpi started this place. 108 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,399 Worked himself to an early grave. 109 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,999 Yep, yep you said... Then my old Da. 110 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,759 He died in that very chair doing his VAT returns. 111 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,279 There's been Howells living 112 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:33,359 and dying at Pontyberry Construction for...80 years. 113 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,759 Yeah, well, I'm sure that er, you know... 114 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:37,839 Life goes on. 115 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,279 ♪ Time is a laddo me laddo is baddo 116 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,680 ♪ And time is a lady no more... 117 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,399 ♪ Time is a devil unravelling revel 118 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:50,759 ♪ And time is a lingering whore! ♪ 119 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,639 She sang in here as a child, Rob... 120 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,959 Sing the rest, my love. Last chance you'll get now. 121 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,799 No, no. There's really no... 122 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,319 ♪ Time come and get me 123 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,919 ♪ For I'll not forget thee 124 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,519 ♪ For time will come knock on my door 125 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,559 ♪ And time is a winner 126 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,919 ♪ And time be a sinner 127 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,879 ♪ But time is a lingering whore. ♪ 128 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,719 Oh God... 129 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,119 ♪ "Little Bit" - Lykke Li 130 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:19,559 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 131 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:23,639 ♪ I think I'm a little bit 132 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:29,119 ♪ A little bit in love with you... ♪ 133 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,959 Cheers, Drive. Keep the change. 134 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,720 Cheers Guvnor, have a good day. 135 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,159 As I said, you're dealing with a woman who knows what she wants. 136 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,480 Oh, here's your mam. 137 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,800 And what she doesn't want - and knows how to get it. 138 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,679 Yep... 139 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,999 Secure me the land cos I have found you the builder... 140 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,679 Yep. All sorted... 141 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,599 No, he's got the keys, for God's sake! 142 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:09,159 Oh, don't worry. I'm very confident we can do business. 143 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,120 OK...bye now. 144 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,319 What's this? 145 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,439 Breakfast. 146 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,479 Does anyone in this town feed their kids properly? 147 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,360 Urgh! 148 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,520 No way. 149 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,199 I swear to you, presh, I will improve my performance 150 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,199 both as lover, friend and husband. 151 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,279 And lover. Stop being so dramatic, mun. 152 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,799 I just need a bit of space, that's all. 153 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,919 So you coming home later, then, or what? 154 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,719 It's a wake-up call, Paul. 155 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,280 The wise horse moves to the shadow of the whip. 156 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,359 That last bit, that was a metaphor if you're wondering. 157 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,399 We haven't actually ever... 158 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,599 Oh stop it mun, Sun, Mam tell him! 159 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,039 You've got that top on inside out, good girl. 160 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,959 Oh yeah. I need a drink. 161 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,439 Oh shut up, mun. No you don't. 162 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,879 Mam, can you give me and Abhra a lift home? 163 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,799 Sunny's going uni aren' you? Yeah. 164 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,239 Oh Christ, 165 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,519 it's like a bloody drop in centre 'ere today. 166 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,799 I take it your marriage is no longer in trouble, then? 167 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,679 Nah, Sunny said I'm just paranoid and deluded about that Leah. 168 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:45,319 That I was being a bit of a dick. Charming! 169 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,959 I didn't actually call you a dick. Yes you did... 170 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,800 Oh don't start now, God... You've only just made up. 171 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,399 Alright. 172 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,079 What d'you want? 173 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,799 Well I'm here for Luke, as it goes. 174 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,600 We're going for a run. Oh. 175 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,519 Well, come in then. Just don't get mud on my floor! 176 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,239 Luke! Your father's 'ere. 177 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,639 Alright, I'll be down now! Alright. 178 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,640 Hiya. 179 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:18,119 Felt sick to the pit of my stomach when I read it. 180 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,799 Are they insane? 181 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,159 "There will be no further funds awarded to your..."Organisation. 182 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,759 It's not an organisation it's a rugby club! 183 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,200 It's the end of an era, that's what it is. 184 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,039 Dai, we gotta stop them. 185 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,079 I know. 186 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,679 We gotta find someone who'll fight our corner, 187 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,199 someone who'll stand up to them bastards in the council 188 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,519 and defend our heritage! 189 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,679 Well you won't have to look far, Al. Really? 190 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:44,000 Cos I'm looking at that someone right now. 191 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:46,719 Dai Kosh? 192 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,760 No, mun. You, you daft pillock! 193 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,279 Oh I dunno, would they listen to someone like me? Really? I mean... 194 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,559 Oh God! 195 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,799 What's the point of anything any more? 196 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,640 First my wife, then the club. Can this day get any worse? 197 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,559 Come on. Let's get down the council. 198 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:07,159 Find out what the hell's going on. Aye, alright. 199 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,639 Eh, take it easy on the beer now, Dai Kosh. 200 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,040 Alright? 201 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,839 Pass him one of them pasties, Dai Davies. 202 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:16,840 Aye. 203 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,919 Something solid inside, is it? 204 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,279 Leave me. 205 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,640 I don't want no pasties. 206 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,479 Pontyberry Construction's officially yours, then? 207 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,119 Yeah, well I'm hoping I can put a bit of it your way - 208 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,799 and sooner than you think if this contract goes through... 209 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:50,879 Serious? 210 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,279 Yeah, I don't want to say too much 211 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,759 but I got a meeting this afternoon with a developer. 212 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,040 I'll let you know how it goes. Tidy. 213 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,479 Aunty Brenda! 214 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,599 Well, this weather can't make its mind up! 215 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,719 I was hoping to go for a run later. 216 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:06,799 You, run? 217 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,039 Oh look who've piped up. 218 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,479 Seen the error of your ways then have you, Rob Morgan, 219 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,039 after waltzing off down America and what have you? 220 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,279 It was Canada, actually. 221 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,599 Never you mind where it was, good boy, you left a trail of destruction 222 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,959 in your wake and it was us had to clear the hool thing up. 223 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,599 I thought you were living in Tenerife at the time... 224 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,919 Anyway, I got a job now, Aunty Brenda, down Big Rae's. 225 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,599 So I heard, eh - well done kid! 226 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,799 It's just till something better comes along, like. 227 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,679 Well don't get your hopes up, isn't it? 228 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,599 The country's in a double-dip recession, 229 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,599 unemployment's rising and you done 18 months for car theft. 230 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,359 If I was you I'd be grateful for what I got. 231 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,639 Now I'll join you in some stretches 232 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,840 if you don't mind before the day becomes a total washout. 233 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:53,920 Agh... 234 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,999 Yeah... 235 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,400 Yeah, OK. Thanks very much. Bye-bye. 236 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:09,039 So, she finally decides to deign us with her presence. 237 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,279 Sorry. 238 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,799 I am up to my eyeballs in corpses, good girl. 239 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,919 You been drinking? 240 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,479 No. 241 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,159 Why not? What's going on? 242 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,359 Well if you must know... 243 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,079 Oh my God, I've left Edna Sketty under the dryer! 244 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,840 She'll be like a bacon baguette by now. 245 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,399 Well? 246 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,919 They won't move. 247 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,159 The lease is up for sale and they're gonna sell it. 248 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,039 Unless we can pay. 249 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,439 Raise the money yourselves, they said... 250 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,959 What the hell we gonna do? 251 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,919 I'll tell you what we're gonna do, Dai Davies, 252 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,279 we're gonna do just that. 253 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,919 We're gonna raise the cash ourselves. 254 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,919 And let no man stand in our way. 255 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,600 - Pardon me. Sorry, sorry. - Excuse me. 256 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,639 And that stretches right back to Lithey Street, 257 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,999 which gives access to the school and the High Street, 258 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,479 so location couldn't be better, really. 259 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,480 Good Morning! 260 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,719 How lovely to see two young men keeping fit! 261 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:18,720 Alright. Alright. 262 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,719 You'll never guess in a million years who that is... 263 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,199 Well, er, actually... Melissa - Big Al's ex-wife. 264 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,479 Hitler in a pencil skirt she is. 265 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,559 She won't let Little Al eat nothing. 'Cept tomatoes. 266 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,359 And the occasional oily fish. 267 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,759 Can't imagine them together, though, can you? 268 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,119 Met in Lanzarote, 18-30s, back in the day. 269 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,320 Used to be HUGE by all accounts. 270 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,159 ♪ "Ghosts" - Laura Marling 271 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,599 ♪ He walked down a busy street 272 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,159 ♪ Staring solely at his feet 273 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,879 ♪ Clutching pictures of past lovers at his side 274 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,279 ♪ Stood at the table where she sat 275 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,719 ♪ And removed his hat 276 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,919 ♪ In respect of her presence 277 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,759 ♪ Presents her with the pictures and says 278 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,959 ♪ "These are just ghosts that broke my heart before I met you 279 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,480 ♪ "These are just ghosts that broke my heart before I met you." ♪ 280 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,120 Josh? 281 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,960 You're a lightweight, mate - I managed two lectures already this... 282 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,719 Oh, don't worry, it's not how it looks. 283 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,999 - Where's Josh? - Oh, er... 284 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,999 I locked myself out. 285 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,639 He gave me his bed - he was quite the gentleman in fact. 286 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,719 It's nothing to do with me who you sleep with. 287 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,040 I wish it was... 288 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,919 Sit down a minute. 289 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,439 I'm gonna go find Josh... 290 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,079 Sunny. We can't ignore what happened last night. 291 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,599 We can't pretend it didn't happen. 292 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,919 I'm sorry Emma hit you. 293 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,279 She got this stupid idea in her head that you... 294 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,479 Fancy me. 295 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,639 And why is that such a stupid idea...? 296 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,000 Because it is. Isn't it? 297 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:10,240 I think your wife is very, very... 298 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,919 Perceptive... 299 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:14,920 What? 300 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,920 What you doing? 301 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,599 What am I doing? 302 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,680 There's no point fighting it, Sunny! 303 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,559 Pity I gotta go. 304 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,960 Enjoying the view, I was. 305 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,799 Keep the gloves in order. 306 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:58,839 Right. 307 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,559 Don't let anyone leave this gym with a glove-shaped carrier. 308 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,560 Too many light-fingered - boxers round here. - Right. 309 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,959 Go on. Get yourself in, if you like. 310 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,760 Nah, another time, maybe. 311 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,039 Hello there! 312 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,559 Mrs Barclay... 313 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:26,879 Excuse me. 314 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,239 Jagadeesh Choudary - this is my shop. 315 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,279 So it is. Very nice. 316 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,559 I heard you singing the other day at the tanning salon... 317 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,599 Your group, your choir, and I thought it sounded exquisite. 318 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,079 Well, thank you very much. 319 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,599 I must get on, I'm late for pilates. 320 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,119 Of course - I was wondering whether you might consider 321 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,399 taking on any new members? 322 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,479 Good grief, no. 323 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,479 I'm afraid we have a full complement of singers 324 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,519 and a waiting list of 23 325 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,960 so I do apologise, but the answer's most definitely no. 326 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,719 ♪ My funny valentine 327 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:02,279 ♪ Sweet comic valentine 328 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:09,119 ♪ You make me smile with my heart 329 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,799 ♪ Your looks... ♪ 330 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,639 Rehearsals are 1pm Tuesday. The Community Centre. 331 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:16,640 Be there. 332 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,679 I will. 333 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,160 I will! 334 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,239 Alright Jag? 335 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,439 Hello! 336 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,199 The wanderer returns. 337 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,640 Ah, yes. YES! 338 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,719 Obviously, I'm really pleased to have you back Emma. 339 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,799 As am I... 340 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,799 But you still shouldn't have abandoned your husband like that. 341 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,959 It's not the behaviour of a doctor's wife. 342 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,679 Not now, Tan. Hold on now, good girl... 343 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,279 He's not technically a doctor yet. All the same. 344 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,439 Ah, here he is! The man himself. 345 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,839 What are you all doing here? 346 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,439 Discussing the fact that your wife left you alone at the ball! 347 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,559 She didn't! Yeah, he wasn't alone though was he? 348 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,679 From what I heard that Leah - was all over him! - Mam! 349 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,639 - I wouldn't say that. - That's no reason for his wife to walk out on him. 350 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:02,799 First rule of med school. 351 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,799 What happens in med school stays in med school. 352 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,119 Second rule of... What the hell do you know about med school, Tanisha? 353 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,319 You run a bloody sweet shop! 354 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,479 - Mam! - At least I'm no common or garden washerwoman. 355 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,159 Please! Now, I have decided that what we need 356 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,919 is an event to unite us as a family. 357 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,799 Something to bring harmony... 358 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:25,839 And joy and blessings. We have such strong foundations here... 359 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,519 - Spit it out. - A Namkaran. 360 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,199 What we need is a Namkaran. 361 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,319 Oh, nah, you're alright Jag, I just had a Hobnob. 362 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,479 A Namkaran isn't a biscuit, Emma. It's a baby-naming ceremony. 363 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:39,639 Like a christening. 364 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,879 Aww. But with better food. 365 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,999 When Sunil was a baby it brought Tanisha 366 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,319 and myself together against her interfering family. 367 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,519 Oh, I'm gonna have to get a new sari and everything, won't I? 368 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,039 I'll have to get my hands henna-ed. 369 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,919 Oh. And I'll have to learn Punjabi, won't I? 370 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,199 To greet the guests and that. 371 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,840 I know one bit already - Mai tennu pyaar karthi hun. 372 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,439 It means I love you, don't it Sun? 373 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:04,799 Yeah. It does. 374 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,439 Here's lovely! Well, can't do no harm can it? 375 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,239 - Little christening. - Namkaran. Same thing. 376 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,039 With better food. Better food. Yeah, you said. 377 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,399 Augh! End of the Piccadilly Line! 378 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,559 Oh, oh, oh! 379 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:19,960 - Hello? Shop! - Ohhh! 380 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,119 Sorry, Yant. Me and Karl were just looking... 381 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,479 Shagging in the tanning booth! 382 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,439 Karl, mun! No we weren't. Makes no odds to me, 'Dine. 383 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,719 We're all disgusting at the end of the day. 384 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,439 You've met Peschman, of course. Peschman Hodd. 385 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,799 Hiya, yeah! Please, call me Pesch. 386 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,199 Or The Fish. 387 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,879 Hey, it's the Fishman! Hey, hey, hey! 388 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,679 Peschman, mun. 389 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,919 Namaste Karlos! 390 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,159 Counsellor he is, 'Dine. I know that, mun. 391 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,519 And he's looking a bit pasty, aren't you, butt? 392 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,439 So you tell me, Yan Toe. 393 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,759 So I thought I'd bring him here 394 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,319 for a nice semi-bronze from your magical tan gun. 395 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,879 What d'you say, 'Dine? 396 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,239 Have he brought his own pants? I'm lending him mine. 397 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,439 Pop yourself in a number 3 then, is it? 398 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,440 - Thank you. - Hey. 399 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:17,999 Well... 400 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,599 No disrespect, like, Paul, 401 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,439 you knows I takes people as they comes, 402 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,679 but you are gonna LOOK like a cappuccino soon, 403 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,759 the amount you been putting away. 404 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,160 Mo, you know that bedsit. 405 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,879 Is it still available, like? 406 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,839 Yeah. Why? 407 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,239 You know someone who might be interested? 408 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,880 Yeah. Me. 409 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,359 I said to Alan when we were married, 410 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:59,119 I said. "You eat what you like, but leave my baby out of it." 411 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:03,039 Oh, it was lonely, Rob, being married to a fat man. 412 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,279 Right. 413 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,479 So, this meeting you had with the council... 414 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:08,999 Mm. 415 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,879 I'll cut to the chase. 416 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,959 When they heard Idris Howells was selling up, 417 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,399 they started getting nervous. 418 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,999 But once they found out Mr Big Shot Rob Morgan was buying him out 419 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,399 it seemed to calm them down. 420 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,399 You've got quite a reputation, you know. 421 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:24,719 Well my company has. 422 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,600 No, it's not just that. 423 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,239 Local boy made good - successful business in Canada, 424 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,399 coming back home with his lucky streak! 425 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,439 Oh you tick all the boxes, you see. 426 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,599 Well the contract was pretty much a done deal - 427 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,639 and that was thanks to Idris Howells. 428 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,999 Oh don't be so modest, it doesn't suit you. 429 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:47,799 You effectively rescued the deal. So, cheers. 430 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,479 Isn't this a little premature? 431 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,679 I mean you haven't told me where the land is yet. 432 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,799 Spoilsport. I was keeping it as a surprise. 433 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,360 Well I don't really like surprises, Melissa. 434 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,080 OK. 435 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,679 It's Pontyberry Rugby Club. 436 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,439 You're not serious? 437 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,799 I know, not a popular site. 438 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,839 But the lease has run out and they've got no money to renew. 439 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,839 Time to move on. But nobody likes progress round here. 440 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:21,479 That's why I need a real businessman behind me. 441 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,759 But the rugby club...? 442 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,399 Problem? 443 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,919 If you don't think you're up to it, 444 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,959 I'm sure I could start looking elsewhere but it's a shame... No, no, no. 445 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,600 There's no need for that. Good. 446 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,040 Then we have ourselves a deal! 447 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,120 And you're rotating... 448 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:47,760 You're rotating... 449 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:51,720 You're rotating... 450 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,239 Eh, you couldn't get the street lamp fixed outside our house could you? 451 00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,839 Nadine, I am not such a counsellor. 452 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,399 I am a Life Coach! 453 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,599 I help people with their seemingly insurmountable 454 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,439 problems of the heart and soul. 455 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,719 Well it's a bloody big problem for me, I can tell you! 456 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:12,759 On, off, on, off, on, off - I'm not getting a wink of sleep. 457 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,319 What with that and the pregnancy. 458 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,919 Ah! You're with child? 459 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,639 Congratulations - Karl didn't say - he must be over the moon? 460 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,919 Yeah, he is. Or he will be like, after I've catched. 461 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,559 He don't know we're trying at the mo. 462 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,479 We're gunning it every given opportunity 463 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,079 and to be honest I'm whacked out, I am. 464 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,879 Then perhaps you are trying too hard. 465 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,279 Perhaps you should attend my workshop. 466 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,639 Please, take a leaflet from my bags. 467 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,640 Ooh. 468 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,359 "Change Your Mind, Change Your World." 469 00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:45,519 Tomorrow afternoon. The Community Centre. 470 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,160 Only a couple of places left! 471 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,719 Save the club! 472 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,359 Thanks. 473 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:53,119 For the rugby club. 474 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,359 7p is all I got, Al. 475 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,199 Need the rest for my cockin' pie. 476 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,080 Well, anything you can spare really. 477 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,439 Nice. Thanks. 478 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,759 Eh, Paul - I seen your Dai this morning down the club. 479 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,199 Bit worse for wear, like. An' maudlin. 480 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,759 Lovely, thanks. 481 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,719 He looked bloody awful, to be honest with you. 482 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,879 Alright, mu, Al. I get the point. 483 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,719 Yeah, I seen him and all, and to be fair, 484 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,239 he did look bastard rough, like. 485 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,359 She've been in by 'ere avoiding him, she have. 486 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,920 I have not been avoiding him! 487 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,799 How many coffees? 488 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,040 Seven. 489 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,000 Well she's steering clear of some bastard bastard. 490 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,679 I'll be back a bit later Mo to... y'know... 491 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,840 He's not the only one who's suffering. 492 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,679 Ee, there's trouble at mill! 493 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,520 I'm showing her the bedsit later - don't tell me that's normal. 494 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,199 The corned beef, presh? 495 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,480 Two thanks. 496 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,679 Ah. Hello Pesch, you been on your hols? 497 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,479 I let Yan Toe persuade me to be tanned. 498 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,720 I think Karl gives him commission. 499 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,839 So, how are things, my friend? 500 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,359 Absolutely shit. I've lost my job, 501 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:11,959 I'm losing my rugby club and Mo's out of beef and onion. 502 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,879 Well, I might have a small opportunity for you. 503 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,519 Something to ease the pains. 504 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:17,919 Eh! 505 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,759 It's not some of that Dutch weed is it? 506 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:23,279 Smoke it in cafe's they do Mo, bold as bastard brass. 507 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,799 No, no, I have been clean now of narcotics, alcohol, 508 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,919 nicotine and processed sugar for almost eleven years, now. 509 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,519 Bet you're a fun date. 510 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,200 Ha! 511 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,879 "Change Your Mind, Change Your World." 512 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,759 Nah, no thanks mate, it's not my thing. 513 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,639 Not to participate. To facilitate. 514 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,679 I need a capable pair of hands on the music. 515 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,959 Somebody to work the CD player for the trust exercises. 516 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,319 Bit busy tomorrow, like. I got a lot on, lot of... things to do. 517 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:52,919 I can pay you £15. 518 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,280 Where d'you want me? 519 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:00,479 I 'eard the sooner you start shaving 520 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,599 it makes your bristles come in stronger. 521 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,079 Who told you that? One of the old women in your class, was it? 522 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,199 Oi! 523 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,039 Might try it, see what happens like. 524 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,880 Why d'you want bristles all of a sudden? 525 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:17,399 I knew it! Benny-boy got a crush! No I haven't! 526 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,039 Yes he have! What's her name? 527 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,599 Go on, spill! Oh pack it in! 528 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:21,879 Tell me or I'll tell Mam! 529 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,680 OK, OK...it's Bethan. 530 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,639 Bethan... Emma's friend Bethan, who's the same age as Emma, 531 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,559 as in 17 Bethan?! 532 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,279 17, yeah. 533 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,919 - Wow. - What? 534 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,999 Nothing. No, go for it! 535 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,599 But what do I say to her, like? To ask her out? 536 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,239 Just ask her if she wants a coffee or something. 537 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,479 Oh that's rubbish. 538 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,879 What if she's not thirsty or she don't like coffee? 539 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,719 Ben! Luke! 540 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,199 Tea's ready. 541 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,799 OK! 542 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,200 You know what'll happen if she says yes, don't you? 543 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,119 You and her... 544 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,639 Up a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Oh, shut up! 545 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,639 Your bristles all over her... Oh, get off me! 546 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,599 They can't close you down! Not the rugby! 547 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,679 The whole town'll be up in arms. 548 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,359 Yeah, well I won't let them, Stell. 549 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:12,959 That's why I'm raising the money to pay for the lease. 550 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:14,639 Oi! Morrisses! 551 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,519 Get down here sharpish or I'll give your tea to Big Alan. 552 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,319 OK! 553 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:20,639 So... 554 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,520 How's it feel being single again? 555 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,999 I don't want to talk about it. 556 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,319 Oh, it's alright. They say rejection do make you bitter. 557 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,999 Was it the age difference in the end, was it? 558 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,279 Or sleeping with Rob Morgan? 559 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,080 What? No! 560 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,760 Actually it was me that... 561 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:41,879 Oh, don't matter. 562 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,839 Y'see, I reckon the best way to cope with being dumped 563 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,079 is to throw your energies into something else. 564 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,439 That's what I do. "Find a project, fight the pain." 565 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,999 That's what my self-help tape used to say. 566 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,999 - Hiya. - Who's in pain? 567 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,079 They're selling off the rugby pitch. 568 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,479 - Serious? - Aye. 569 00:27:58,480 --> 00:27:59,920 Got a little pound? 570 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:10,479 Taxi for Dai? 571 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,039 Davies or Kosh? 572 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,599 It's for Dai Kosh, it is. 573 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,559 The biggest loser in the hool of the Berry! 574 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:22,319 Leaving now for destination... despair and despondency! 575 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,559 Come on, then. Ooh! 576 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,199 Let's get you home, then. 577 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,800 In you go, come on Dai. 578 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,320 Come on, watch your 'ead. 579 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,319 D'you want a carrier bag? Just in case? 580 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:36,320 No. 581 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,920 Nadine, that meal was stunning. No two ways. 582 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,559 Sit down a minute, babes. 583 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,359 I got something to tell you. 584 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,239 Oh my God. 585 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,399 You've never asked me to sit down before. 586 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,639 Karl... Just tell me, put me out of my bloody misery, woman. 587 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,359 Are you gonna die? 588 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,119 What?! Don't be thick, mun, Karl. 589 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:07,279 No what it is... I haven't caught this month. 590 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,680 Caught what? 591 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,239 Oh... right. 592 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,599 Are you angry? You're angry, aren't you? 593 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,199 Tell the truth, presh, I didn't know you was trying to catch. 594 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,040 That's cos I didn't tell you. 595 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:25,200 So er... all that shagging and that, wasn't cos you was horny 24/7? 596 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:27,999 Hang on... 597 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,639 I never thought you wanted babies, 598 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,879 you always said they knock you out of shape, and that. 599 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,359 I'd 'ave a Caesar, Karl, course I would, like Posh Spice 600 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:35,439 and the Queen an' that. 601 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:39,559 I'd wanna keep my vajojo tidy, only fair on you in the long run. 602 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,719 Ahh... Come here you! 603 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,559 Woo! 604 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,359 You sure you're alright there, Dai? 605 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,359 You want me to come in with you? 606 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,319 I might be the biggest loser you ever had in your taxi, 607 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,720 but I am capable of opening my own front door, thank you. 608 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,399 Hey... 609 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,040 Hey, Dai. Have a look at this, eh? 610 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,439 "Change You Mind, Change You World." 611 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,879 I know all about that, I would. 612 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,199 Well, you never know, mate. Might just help you out, eh? 613 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,279 Tomorrow afternoon, it is. 614 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:22,479 Yeah...? 615 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,640 Oh, hey... nearly forgot... 616 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,200 I'm alright for money... 617 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,799 Yes, it's small, but that's the nature of the bedsit, see? 618 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,559 It's fine. I'll take it. 619 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:40,119 You don' have any pets, do you? 620 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,319 Only the last bloke had a lizard an' it went AWOL in the drainage system. 621 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,239 I don't want that happening again. 622 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:46,360 No pets. 623 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,079 I take it Dai's not moving in with you, then? 624 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:52,319 No. 625 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,839 Oh, and you'll know Yanto, of course. 626 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,279 Lives in number 3. Alright? Again. 627 00:30:58,280 --> 00:30:59,480 Alright. 628 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,040 Look out, his eyes is opened! 629 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,160 Thank you, my friend. 630 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:40,320 Welcome. 631 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:48,320 Tell me this, who here actually likes themselves? 632 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,479 Interesting! 633 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,479 Nobody...? 634 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,439 Except Aunty Brenda. 635 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,719 Good, well that's good. 636 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,480 One person only. 637 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,600 What about the rest of us? 638 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,559 What is this destructive pit of self-loathing 639 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,520 into which we have all fallen and now drowned? 640 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,400 So, we need a focus person. Who shall that be? 641 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:24,800 Who will that be? 642 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,479 Nadine... 643 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,320 Will you choose for me a name please? 644 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:40,560 Dai. It do say Dai. 645 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,280 Stand up please, Dai. 646 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,360 Did the universe specify a surname please, Peschman? 647 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:56,880 Dai Kosh. 648 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,360 The universe has chosen Dai Kosh. 649 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,639 So, how are you feeling, my friend? 650 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:19,319 Bit nervous like. Bit "in the spotlight," like. 651 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,079 And d'you have nice big juicy problem 652 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:22,719 you'd like to share with us today? 653 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,479 Well I don't know about big and juicy 654 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,359 but he've definitely got a problem, haven't you, presh? 655 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:28,799 Aunty Brenda, I must ask you, 656 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,879 please, to respect the boundaries of the room. 657 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,239 No cross-talking please. 658 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,519 And no pasties, Dai Davies. 659 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,320 In your own time, Dai. 660 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:44,560 Let us hear your pain. 661 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,439 Music, Alan. 662 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,560 ♪ "Tubular Bells" - Mike Oldfield 663 00:33:55,040 --> 00:34:01,239 Well, things haven't been going very good recently on the home front. 664 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,719 I've erm... 665 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:07,119 I've lost... my girl. 666 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:12,320 My beautiful, wonderful, wife Paula... 667 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,360 And when exactly did she die, Dai? 668 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,799 What? No, no she's not dead, mun. 669 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,200 She's just gone off me, like. 670 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:26,679 Oh God! Paula! Please come... back. 671 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,999 Please come back! 672 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,599 Come back... 673 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,359 It's OK, Dai... 674 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:35,719 Paula come back... 675 00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:39,079 You are safe here, and you are with friends. 676 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:40,880 Gah... Come back... 677 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:46,080 Will we be having a coffee break, d'you think? 678 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,200 I take it those aren't for Banjo. 679 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,120 You didn't get these from no garage. 680 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,440 They're to cheer you up. And to say sorry. 681 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,760 You always liked white roses, didn't you? 682 00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:33,359 So, how's the new business - coming along? - Very good. 683 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,599 I've inherited - well, potentially inherited a big contract. 684 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,359 Which'll set everything up nicely. 685 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,359 Should all be sorted in a couple of weeks. 686 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,959 And then you'll go back to Canada? 687 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,120 That's the plan. 688 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:47,039 Cos, to be honest, it's freaking me out 689 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,999 seeing you around the place every day. 690 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,839 I could get offended by that. 691 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,600 Shut up, Rob, since when did you ever get offended? 692 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,439 Come for dinner with me. 693 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:57,719 What? 694 00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,959 I want to take you out for dinner. 695 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:03,759 - You're asking me out? - Yeah. Why is that so strange? 696 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,799 Um... 697 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,079 I don't know where to start with that one, really! 698 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,199 How about the fact that most people in our shoes'd be celebrating 699 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,319 their silver wedding this year, only you buggered off to Canada in 1988 700 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,559 and things went tits up? 701 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,399 Or the fact that me and Sean were very happy 702 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:18,959 till you come along and spoilt it? 703 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,359 Or that you ruined my son's dreams of a new life in Canada? 704 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,759 - Take your pick! - You're so determined to live in the past! 705 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,079 Stella, I'm trying to make things right between us... 706 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,879 And what for, exactly? You gonna move back to Pontyberry, are you? 707 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,639 Give up your flash Vancouver lifestyle, 708 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,199 start going down the Legion on a - Friday? - You're impossible! 709 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,919 - Maybe take up darts! - And a bit deranged. 710 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:36,279 I think Sean was right. 711 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,679 You just see me as some little challenge don't you, Rob? 712 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,839 Like one of them Sudokus or a cryptic Crossword... 713 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,559 - Have you been drinking? - You may be used to clicking your fingers 714 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,319 and getting what you want, good boy, but not where I'm concerned. 715 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:47,879 You already fucked my life up twice. 716 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,799 Once when you left me and once when you came back. 717 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,799 You're not doing it a third time, 718 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:56,040 so, sorry, but I won't be going on a date with you, alright? 719 00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,360 Alright. 720 00:37:09,720 --> 00:37:13,280 Dai, the universe has chosen you to lead us through this. 721 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,879 I want you to take your time my friend, 722 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,919 look around the room, please, 723 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:24,040 and to choose a person who reminds you of your impotence. 724 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,679 I'll go for Dai please. Dai Davies. 725 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,079 Cheers, butt! 726 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,519 And someone to represent your wife, also. 727 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:36,799 Um... 728 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,359 Jagadeesh please. 729 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,359 Thank you very much. 730 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,439 Dai Davies, Impotence, 731 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,639 if you could you lie on the floor there please, sir, 732 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:46,840 just flop down there. 733 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,119 Jag, my friend, you are Paula on a pedestal. 734 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:52,760 I want you to stand over there, please. 735 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,679 To win Paula back, Dai, you must first forgive your impotence 736 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,760 and then take it over to Paula. 737 00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:04,600 Are we ready to do this? 738 00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:07,920 Music, Alan, please. 739 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,040 ♪ "Tubular Bells" - Mike Oldfield 740 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,159 And you said all that to Rob? 741 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,799 You are off your head - now he'll just think you're keen! 742 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,519 Don't be ridiculous I told him where to get off. 743 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,919 Yeah, exactly - you got all worked up. Absolute giveaway. 744 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,159 You should've acted nonchalant. In fact, you should've said yes! 745 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,279 Oh God, you talk bollocks sometimes. 746 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,839 I don't want to go for dinner with Rob Morgan, OK? 747 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:34,999 Who you trying to kid? 748 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,959 Couple of months ago you were shagging him in the Belmont. 749 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,719 Yeah... Well that was... 750 00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:40,759 You know... 751 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,039 Ooh, a little trip down Memory Lane. 752 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:44,640 Something like that. 753 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,599 You and Rob, that night... was it... 754 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,479 Like, did it feel the same? 755 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,599 What you on about? 756 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,399 Y'know, like, doing it with him. 757 00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,599 Was it the same as when you were sixteen? 758 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,879 Was it the same size and everything? Oh. My. God. 759 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,520 You are utterly disgusting. 760 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,240 I'm just curious, that's all. 761 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,439 Memory Lane's a bastard. 762 00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:22,040 Memory Lane's a cul-de-sac where you're concerned, good girl. 763 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,319 With my heart, truly, I embrace thee. 764 00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,399 I love thee. I love thee. 765 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:31,759 I love thee... 766 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:32,919 Oh, Christ! 767 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,200 Chewy mint? 768 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,000 Embrace him fully. 769 00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,679 And now pick him up. 770 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,679 Ngh... Ngh... 771 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,199 Can you carry him Dai? 772 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,239 Ngh... No. 773 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,119 No, OK, that's OK, so... 774 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:54,320 Let your impotence support YOU and take you to Paula. 775 00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,800 Stay behind him, please, Dai Davies. 776 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:12,039 I love you, both. I embrace you both. 777 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:16,040 I shall be there. For both of you. 778 00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:21,240 Thank you my dearest, my only true love. 779 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:23,399 Sorry. 780 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,719 Went down the wrong tube, it did. 781 00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:27,279 Oh, why is it so complicated, Pauls? 782 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,279 Why can't everyone be like you an' my brother? 783 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,639 I mean, I know you've had your ups and downs recently... 784 00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,799 But you're alright now, aren't you? Stell I've... 785 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,319 And thank God, I say, 786 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,839 cos I hated the thought of you two drifting apart. 787 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,559 I was so happy when you said everything was alright again, 788 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,479 and you was going home to Dai. 789 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,319 Oh, that came out wrong. 790 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,119 But not just because I know how much he loves you, 791 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,279 but cos you're Paula and Dai, aren't you? 792 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,399 You're meant to be together. 793 00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:55,319 Everyone else's lives can fall apart, that's fine, but not you. 794 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,280 What you've got is really special. 795 00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,680 Stella, I got something to tell you... 796 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,000 What? 797 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:10,520 I did something today that will probably upset you... 798 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,119 Paula...? 799 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,199 It... 800 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:20,280 Y'know things have been building up for a while, and I...What things? 801 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,360 Paula what've you done? 802 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:26,880 I... 803 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:32,239 I tried on a dead woman's shoes. 804 00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:33,600 So?! 805 00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:39,159 Oh God, I thought you were gonna tell me something dreadful then! 806 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:40,360 Come on. 807 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,919 Prepare for a miracle, my friend! 808 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,719 Return home where your wife will be waiting for you. 809 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,479 If it is meant to be. 810 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,359 I must cover myself there Dai Kosh, 811 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,640 I don't want you to sue me for breach of promise, OK? 812 00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:12,959 I couldn't have done this without you boys. 813 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,479 I want you to know that. 814 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,799 This will be for ever etched in my heart. 815 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,799 It won' go any further though, will it? 816 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,000 What we just did then? 817 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,840 I feel so different. Like a new man! 818 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,319 Peschman said you'd be here! 819 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:03,679 Oh my God, Paul. 820 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,559 I don't want to be a second away from you again. 821 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:07,680 Don' move! 822 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:12,239 I know we was keeping this for something special, 823 00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:15,119 but I think this is pretty special, don' you? 824 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:16,639 Dai, hang on, babes... 825 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,919 Cos it was blip in the universe, that's all it was. 826 00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,240 Dai, I got something to tell you... 827 00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:28,040 Paula... What's going on? 828 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:30,600 I need some time. On my own. 829 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,559 A little break. 830 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:34,720 From you. 831 00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,679 Is this a wind up? Or is it butterfly? 832 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:45,120 It's butterfly. It's very much a butterfly. 833 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:47,560 Sorry. 834 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,119 Am I in some kind of dream here? Are you telling me you left my brother? 835 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,599 I knew I should've kept running! 836 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,839 I said, have you got the grit? 837 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,199 Yes, Bobby. 838 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,360 Stella, be nice tonight is it? 839 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,839 Open your communication canals. 840 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,079 What has been so different of late 841 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,399 in the bedroom department store department? 842 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,800 Well, for a start, I slept with someone else... 843 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:20,999 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 844 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,000 accessibility@bskyb.com